255. The Weight Loss Rest-Stop

I don’t talk about it much on here, but the truth is, I’m supposed to be losing weight.  Not supposed to be as in someone (my doctor, my boyfriend, society as a whole) told me I should lose some weight, but supposed to be as in I consider myself to still be on the weight-loss journey I started over two years ago.  I still want to get to my goal weight (which currently is in the range of 130 – 140), and I’d like to get there sooner rather than later.

The trouble is my weight loss journey has become more of a weight-loss rest-stop.  I’ve mostly just been maintaining the weight I loss in the first 9 – 12 months of the journey.  I’ve gained back about 10 pounds from my lowest weight, but that’s mostly due to my epic winter laziness.  I still eat much healthier than I did two or three years ago.  I eat more whole foods.  I eat less highly processed “foods.”  At least 95% of my meals are made at home.  I try new foods.  I eat (and enjoy!) Brussels Sprouts now for god’s sake!

However, lately my focus on nutrition has been almost as lax as my workout schedule.  Yes, I’m eating lots of whole, unprocessed foods, but a  fair percentage of them are in the form of cupcakes made from real butter, flour, eggs, and milk or dinners using whole milk, full-fat cheese, and more butter.  So yes, while I’m eating real full-fat cheese instead of low-fat (or worse, fat-free) cheese-like product, but I’m eating too much of it.  Oh, and even though I enjoy eating Brussels Sprouts now, I don’t do it nearly often enough.

There’s also the issue of general complacence when it comes to my weight.  I’ve gotten complacent, and I know this is a major hindrance in losing more weight.  My complacence comes from the fact that I’m not particularly uncomfortable at my current weight/ size.  Yes, I want to be thinner.  As much as I’m not vain; I’m still vain.  I admit it.  We’re all a little vain.  Anyone who says she (or he!) isn’t is probably lying to you.  I guess maybe there’s a spectrum of vanity, and I fall more toward the “less vain” end.  Anyway, not the point here.  The point is that while I’d like to be thinner (and it would probably be healthier for me to be about 20lbs lighter), I really am pretty okay with my current size/ weight.

Truth be told, the thing that tends to motivate me toward actively losing weight is when I get to a point where I’m not comfortable with my size.  However, that should not be my primary motivation for quality nutrition and fitness.  I like cooking high quality meals.  I like eating fresh produce (though I almost always favor fruits over veggies.)  I like the feeling of energy I get even after the most sluggish run.  I want my body to be healthy.  I want to feel that sense of accomplishment in kicking ass in my next half. 

I need to shift my motivation and start eating more whole foods in the form or fruits and veggies rather than baked goods and doing quality, well-rounded workouts for the way these things make me feel.  Then the weight loss should come on its own.  And if it doesn’t, maybe this is just my body’s preferred weight.  I’m not uncomfortable so that’s okay.

So, what’s the point of all my ramblings?  I’m not really sure.   I suppose this is my recommitment to eating even better and losing the  15 – 20lbs that would put my weight into the “healthy” BMI range and maybe developing some upper body strength which exceeds that of a toddler.  Or maybe it’s just time to get my priorities in order.

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6 thoughts on “255. The Weight Loss Rest-Stop

  1. It sounds like you have a good mentality going. I really think that tracking is key to weight-loss, whether that be on SP or just jotting down how much & what you eat in a little notebook. You could be short-changing yourself, or you could be well over calories. ( I know you know all of this!) To me, if I’m tracking and holding myself accountable that way, this journey is SO much easier. Good luck with the last few pounds! I know you’ll get to where you need to be.

  2. I don’t think Bmi is the be all, end all when it comes to ideal weights or weight loss. This being said, being in a normal BMI has been proven in countless studies to give you better health benefits and exemption from many metabolic disorders. While it’s hard to make a blanket statement saying “everyone should be in a normal Bmi for optimum health”, given the research out there and the broad weight range for the normal Bmi it’s hard to understand why someone wouldn’t want to reach a healthy Bmi.

    I’m not saying you don’t want to be in a normal Bmi, I think you make that clear in your post. but I am saying the overall tone of this post (from how it came off to me) is one of apathy and general “I wrote this post searching for inspiration and instead decided ehhh if it happens I’ll be happy and if not, oh well”

    I think you know as well as I (from our conversations on this topic) that in order to lose weight and especially those last 10-15 pounds you have to make it a main priority. You have to get uncomfortable, you have to make sacrifices and you have to battle with making yourself do things you aren’t normally doing. While I know you know this, I havent really felt like you’ve committed yourself in these ways lately. I’m not trying to nit pick or be a bitch, I’m simply being honest. I’m sure you know this and I’m not sure what me telling you is going to achieve, I guess I just needed to say that.

    I guess I just really can’t relate when you say if you stayed this size it would be okay because you aren’t uncomfortable right now. Maybe it’s because I haven’t gotten close to my goal weight like you have, or maybe your self esteem is infinitely better than mine. But if you are truly comfortable at your size, realizing that you aren’t “healthy” (clearly only by Bmi standards. Assuming all your blood work is good) then why try to lose those last pounds? Why shift your priorities to do things that you haven’t really wanted to do lately?

    I just think this post was hard for me to understand. For me, I want to be healthy. I want to have a normal Bmi. And while I’ve struggled to get all my ducks in a row (so to speak) to make that happen, I am committed to making it happen and seeing it through until the end. I will be uncomfortable (again, at least I feel like I will) until Ive reached that goal. And if I knew I wasn’t making healthy choices and I knew what needed to be done, I would say that I’m going to do it and I wouldn’t give myself an out for saying I’m okay at this weight.

    This reply did not mean to offend you at all, I’m just trying to explain (not very well I realize) how I don’t relate to this post at all. Perhaps we should discuss it more later?

    • As I told you, I’m defintely not offended by your comment, and in no way did I feel you were trying to judge me or be a bitch or anything like that. And I always appreciate your insights – even if I sometimes fight them. :) You’re the yin to my yang.

      Honestly, more than anything this was a cleaned up rambling, stream-of-consciousness, what’s on my mind right now post.

      I think this post helped me realize (in my own probably-only-make-sense-in-my-own-brain kind of way) I have two main issues –

      First, I don’t have a clear grasp on what my goal really is anymore. I know I want to be healthy; there’s no question about that. Ideally, I’d like to be at a healthy BMI for all the reasons you mentioned, but like you said, I also know BMI isn’t the end-all, be-all deciding factor of health.

      My goal weight is BMI based, but I’m also not confident it’s realistic. My weight in high school when I was seriously competitively swimming was about 135 (which is the top of the healthy range for my height). I was training hard-core (and I was 10 years younger!) at that time. After I quit swimming my weight hovered between 140 and 150. That’s still overweight, but I know it’s achievable and maintainable. Plus, my last blood work was all at acceptable or better levels (except the cholestoral, but we’ve had that conversation already) and infinitely better than they were two or three years ago.

      Second, I’ve lost focus on the “building-blocks.” I need to get back into the habits of good nutrition and fitness before I can seriously start losing weight. With any luck getting those habits back in order will result in shedding a few pounds. I feel like I need to get those ducks back in a row :) before I can really move forward with seriously loosing weight.

      When I talk about becoming complacent, I don’t think it’s apathy so much as frustration. I’m definitely not as committed to weight loss as I was two years ago, but I am still committed to being healthy. I just need to refocus that committment; that I do know.

      I have been doing better. I’m working on eating more veggies every day (and fewer sweets!), and I’m getting into a (mostly) consistent running schedule. Nik and I are planning weekend bike rides and hikes, and my run yesterday really drove home the importance of strength training for my running. I do feel like I’m getting back to a good place. It’s just slow and steady.

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