This week started a new session of the Weight Watchers at Work program I participate in. For this session I’m also going to track total weight loss each week starting next week.
Last week’s weight: 158.2lbs
This week’s weight: 156.8lbs
This has been kind of a weird week for me, and truthfully, I’m still kind of processing it. In other words, I’m about to go all brain dump on you my fine readers.
Throughout the week I was feeling pretty confident about weigh in then around 2:00 yesterday, I got extremely nervous. Like, lump in my throat, almost panicky nervous. I was scared I wasn’t going to show a loss, or worse, that I’d have another gain. I knew I’d had a decent week, and even though my workouts weren’t great (more on that Friday), I’d done well over all on the eating. Despite my better senses, I started second guessing myself. Did I really do as well as I could have? Was I sure I didn’t go overboard? Was the slice of Ultimate Red Velvet Cheesecake Nik and I split on Sunday afternoon going to come back to bite me in the ass? I knew I was being totally irrational, but I just couldn’t help myself. Thankfully I have the wonderfully supportive Laura in my life, and she was *mostly* able to talk me down.
This is really atypical for me. I don’t generally freak out about my weight loss. I don’t usually pressure myself. I generally roll with it and take things as they come. I think I’m starting to put pressure on myself, and I’m really not okay with that. So I’m trying to sort out the possible reasons for my stress, and I’ve come up with a few. First, I really want to get to my goal weight (read: have this losing weight thing over and done with.) Second, I know the last 10 – 15 pounds are always the hardest to lose and require the most dedication. Finally, and I’ve mentioned this before, I have this total mental block about getting below 155lbs. It’s starting to seem more and more like the impossible dream every time I lose and gain and lose and gain.
So I have two goals for this week.
- Track absolutely everything. I’ve gotten pretty lax about tracking on the weekends, and I think this is part of my stress. If I’m tracking everything then there’s no guessing about whether I was under or exceeding my points (daily, weekly, and activity. There’s no room for second guessing myself and whether or not I did my best.
- Get in my work outs. I had a bad week for workouts overall last week. This week is off to a much better start; I plan/ hope to keep that going.
I also bought the three month tracker notebook at my meeting last night. I feel like this will be helpful because it keeps everything in one place for me rather than having a mess of weekly trackers to hold on to. I’ll be able to go back and review my weeks more easily, and the notebook also has a page at the start of each week for weekly goals and your exercise plan for the week. Hopefully this will be a good thing for me. I do track online also which allows me to do the same things, but I’ve found I do much better when I’m physically writing things down.